Case Study

Stressed, divorced and rock bottom to the happiest I've been in years.

Peter, Bond Trader at Lloyds Bank

The challenge I faced

My wife of 15 years had dropped the bombshell that she didn’t think our marriage was working. It was a massive wake up call. It seemed clear that I wasn’t coping with the stresses and strains of my life and seeking help seemed like the most logical thing to do.

How work stress affected me

The stress I was under meant I wasn't thinking rationally. I was driven by my emotions more than I realised. There was an inability to switch off and create a dividing line between work and home. It had impacted family holidays. I had not been as ‘in the moment’ as I should have been. 

I’d let work become too all encompassing and probably slightly forgotten what the important things in life should have been. Living to work, not working to live. 

I felt at rock bottom. I couldn’t deny that there were issues that needed addressing.

What changed?

My frame of mind became more positive through the meditation and the coaching. I don’t feel pressured by time any more. 

I make time each day for me. Whether that is getting out of the office, going for a walk or a run. Having time in the day when I get things done that I want to do rather than being dictated to by the demands of other colleagues. Giving myself the time to think and do the things that really matter has been enormously positive and enormously helpful.

Impact on family

After I’d been through the coaching I went to visit my aunt and uncle who, knowing the situation I was going through, probably expected me to be a nervous wreck. Actually, the opposite was the case. They commented that it was the first time they’d seen me, for a good number of years, without the weight of the world on my shoulders. Some of the physical manifestations of how I reacted to stress and pressure were gone. I had an ability to be in the moment with them and was far calmer than I’d been on previous visits with them.

Impact on colleagues

I think the team would say that there’s a lighter air. There’s less pressure, more happiness. For the first time in a long time, my default has not been grumpy, it’s been happy. 

I think the biggest benefit for me has been being able to take a step back and allow the team to do the job, rather than me feeling that I have to do it or standing over them while they do it. It’s positive for the team and for the wider team that I work in. It helps colleagues develop more than when I was more controlling. 

I went into this from a position of scepticism, but for me it’s been life changing. Just having the ability to talk to someone. To have someone to support and encourage but also to challenge. To ask ‘Why are you doing that?’

I’m a strong advocate of mindfulness and coaching as a support and as a management tool. I think it helps personal life and it helps professional life.